Best Albums By Bowie

David Bowie is a difficult beast to master, one must often times use the flamethrower. And although we may try our collective best, it is usually Bowie who gets the best of us. With that, I present to you what I feel to be the very best albums by Mr. David Bowie, and yes, I am going to tell you why...

Young Americans: For me, things got really cool with this record. And you will soon find that I am one of those Bowie fans that prefers his mid-late '70's material to anything else he has accomplished, I like this era even more so than his celebrated early '70's work. But hey, that is simply how my ear canals roll, girlfriend. I will say as well that "Young Americans" clearly invented a curious little genre in music known as Plastic Soul, which is obviously a precursor to the soulless dreck that Beck released on his bloated "Midnite Vultures" record, as the celebrated "Debra" borrows quite heavily from Bowie's far superior "Win," which is the second track on "Young Americans." This album contains lovely vocal arrangements by Luther Vandross and the hit single "Fame" was co-written by Bowie idol John Lennon, as Lennon also plays rhythm guitar and gives additional backing vocals on this cut. The energetic "Young Americans" song, which is the opening cut on the record, clearly showcases Bowie's gift as a lyricist. If one forgets about his awkward cover of The Beatles "Across The Universe," then all good persons will soon realize that "Young Americans" is some radical Funk on par with the best by The Ohio Players, and I totally shat you in a manner that which is not.

Station To Station: Yes, my favorite Bowie record! We are introduced to the talents of Brian Eno's involvement on this record, as it is only right and natural. This is the greatest Disco record in the history of atheistic Robotic Funk, and I am continually shatting you not, little baby schoolgirl. If paranoia was ever truly set to music then it would clearly be Bowie's eerie masterpiece "TVC15." Christ, does this song ever rock! Damn it! "Golden Years" is a cut that would even get Hitler's mother on the dance floor, it's just that musically rewarding. I find everything on this record to be near-perfect, honestly. We are even treated with a few whimsical numbers that may very well feature Mr. David Bowie at his most lyrically introspective and personal.

Low: Awesome and catchy as fart, and with Brian Eno chilling in the studio per usual. He's like a Chia Pet Phil Spector mingled with a vampire twist. One of the most catchy songs in the history of dinosaurs driving cars is featured on this fantastic LP, and I'm talking about the detached Rock of "Be My Wife." Damn, is this ever good! This is like eating some tasty corn or some shit. I just find the rocking abilities on this record to be so damn plentiful that I am quite thankful that I have yet to receive an overdose of musical enjoyment.

We all know about Bowie's massive influence, both good and bad, and the records I picked were released one after the other. It is on these records that we hear a rare evolution in Pop, and that is the birth of new genres of music. Think about it for a moment, my darling son. Plastic Soul, Post-Punk that somehow even predates Punk itself? These are an interesting series of albums to make sweet love to, and I suggest purchasing them all right now, that is, if they are not crammed up your furry buttocks already. If it was good enough for Ian Curtis of Joy Division, then you should damn well be equally as satisfied, mate. Thank you, and a sincere au revoir to you and yours...