Album Appreciation: "Wrong Way Up" by Brian Eno & John Cale

It must have been when I was listening to "Spinning Away" for the eight-billionth time in headphones when it occured to me that I was dealing with one of the most addicting pop albums I'd come across in a long time.

Wait, huh? Addicting pop album coming from a Velvet Underground veteran and a sad, old bald man? (It's funny because it's true. Brian Eno is bald! Tell your mother. See below:)



So, anyway, this is a pop album. A big, fun, synthesizer-drenched, dated pop album. You see, back in 1976 or so, Eno ran out of twisted pop ideas and moved on to ambient experimentation. At some point in the year of our lord 1990, it occured to him that what he thought was ambient music was really just one piano note being sustained for half an hour, designed to lull the listener into a consistent vegetative state. So, naturally, what else was there to do but hook up with John Cale (not literally, ya pervert!)?

The first two songs are pretty perfect indicators of the pleasures that lie beyond in this fantastic album. "Lay My Love" is a joyful eruption of stuttering drum machines, vague lyrics, infectious harmonies and a wonderful string part. The type of song that begs the listener to turn the volume up and immense yourself in its glory. "One Word" follows a fairly similar formula: another fantastic melody, vocal layering and another fine chorus straight from the mountain tops, my homedog. I'm consistently impressed with the way the melodies seem to transcend the cheesy, dated late 80's/early 90's production into something that sounds like honey on a dead cow.

And thus, the record continues. "Empty Frame" vaguely implies some funkiness, with the "Whoo hoo hoo!"s in all the right places. "Footsteps" brings Eno's trademark synthesizers and bizarre lyrics ("I'm a man of many colors/only yesterday I was blue/ten days from now I'll be different/and so will you") to the forefront. "Been There Done That" has this fucking awesome guitar riff that pops up at aboot 1:16 and makes my nipples harden every single time.

"Spinning Away" deserves its own paragraph, being my favorite song on the album and all. And, like much of this delightful lil record, it's rather simple on the surface. Another cheesy drum machine. Just four guitar chords, ringing out The Edge-style. A wonderfully funky bass rip to compliment it. Strings. Strings. Oh, the strings! Sublime strings. "Mmmmm!" moans Brian Eno in a suggestive voice.


Up on a hill, as the day dissolves
With my pencil turning moments into line
High above in the violet sky
A silent silver plane - it draws a golden chain

One by one, all the stars appear
As the great winds of the planet spiral in
Spinning away, like the night sky at Arles
In the million insect storm, the constellations form

Again, the simple elements of the song really become more than the sum of their parts. In fact, it's the product of their parts! The quotient of their parts! The square root of their parts! And it builds up and gets better and better. Such a good song.

However, then there's the issue of John Cale's contributions to the album. To be frank, I haven't mentioned Cale much due to the fact that (A) I'm pretty unfamiliar with his work outside of the 'velv 'ground and (B) I wasn't present at these recording sessions and thus, I can't really tell ya if he wrote and performed all the songs or if he was busy whacking off the whole time in the vocal booth. However, I've been told that Cale brought about the moodier side of the album - some of the low-key, less immediate tracks. Creepy ones, maybe. As my brotha from anotha motha Anthony Fremont once said, "It's like eating cotton candy and getting a bite of pepperoni." And while I can't always dig the awkward synth riff, growing elements and dark mumbling of "In The Darkroom" as much at the poppy songs, it's still rewarding when I'm in the mood. "Cordoba" has more goodness, however - it's built around another keyboard riff, and the best part has to be the synthesizer solo about three minutes in. "The River" is an enjoyable if unspectacular ballad - I can't help but suspect "Spinning Away" would have made a marginally more orgasmic closer.

And that's that! Let's check out what my esteemed colleague wwww.Pitchfork.com has to say about the record:

"Looking for horses...cattle...western art...a new ranch?
Find a great selection in Livestock World
The Pitchfork Capital of the Internet!
Add Livestock World to your favorites/bookmarks HERE
Make Livestock World Your Home Page"

Right on! Mmmm, that's a good point, Pitchfork. Yes, yes, I certainly agree that "Another Green World" is arguably more essential, as its undeniably one of the top ten records of the beautiful seventies, but lately, I just can't get enough of "Wrong Way Up". Don't pass up "Wrong Way Up" or else you'll really mess stuff up. Pup in a tub:



I bid you goodnight.

French Pop

This is an interesting genre of music, and one must certainly admit to as much. Think of it as the French counterpart to American and English Bubblegum Pop music. In fact, it is very much the same but sung in the French language. This is a delicate and airy genre of music, no question, and some of the lighter aspects have found their way into latter day Stereolab material, quite obviously. Names like France Gall come to mind, don’t they? We are dealing with Vocal Pop here people. Sassy little beats, occasional horn touches and undeniable vocal hooks. You certainly can’t beat that, it’s just too damn cute!

Far be it from me to forget about Serge Gainsbourg, as he’s certainly had his share of French Pop juggernauts. Due to being so well loved by intolerable Hipsters, Mr. Gainsbourgh is probably the most well known name of this genre, and one could even refer to it as International Music, if one did so feel the urge to. Keep in mind that I know rather little about French Pop, but I just can't help but dance to those upbeat sounds, and there is something very naturally musical about the French language as well, and one must ultimately admit to as much, buster.

Francois Hardy gave us moody ballads and Brigitte Bardot gave us instant kitsch, and things got really funky in the early ‘70’s when Serge released a little ode to a young woman named Melody, I will however, beg of you to stay clear of French Disco, which is ultimately what French Pop morphed into as the ‘70’s dragged on. French Disco is just a difficult can of worms that I would rather not tackle; either in this life or the next and for reasons best not described to some of my younger readers. Of course, Brigitte Bardot had some worthwhile vocal duets with Gainsbourg, as did Jane Birkin. This is a great genre of music to investigate, mate, and I think you will be surprised. The mood is often times very perverted as well with gender stereotypes gone awry and then some.

Allow me to suggest a few titles for you to purchase before either one of us dies:



These should be able to get you started in the right direction, buster. The rest of the journey is yours for the taking, as a great many French Pop singers had one Hit at best, and quite a few of which were just French variations of popular American and English Bubblegum Pop tunes, everything from Petula Clark’s “Downtown” to The Who’s “My Generation.” If you really get adventurous perhaps you will try to locate the original vinyl, or don’t you have the guts?

In short, observe France Gall followed by a troll named Serge…




Thank you, and… est-ce qu'travail monstre sans valeur de l'enfer, comment doit un vous obtiennent-il continuellement traiter votre insolence sans fin et souvent ? Vous conduisez à vitesse normale tout à fait clair et péniblement évidemment pour une meurtrissure, vieux copain !

And that translates in English to: get a job you worthless monster from hell, how must one continually deal with your insolence endlessly and often? You are quite clearly and painfully obviously cruising for a bruising, old chum!

Kate Bush - "The Kick Inside"

How does one do it exactly? To solve the Kate Bush mystery, which is by no means an easy task, it takes crucial mental focus. Listen, I am going to try my very utmost to successfully review Kate's debut album, but I am making no promises that this experiment will payoff. You have then a woman of roughly only twenty, and one who was in some vague way actually discovered by Pink Floyd's David Gilmour; at least in terms of getting label interest. Once discovered, Kate was still only about sixteen years of age and in fact got a detailed music and dance education for roughly two years prior to releasing her debut. Needless to say, this intensity and focus is unheard of in the rather non-musical music that has been released by Pop divas in more recent years. The hard work paid off very nicely, and what sticks out more so than anything else on Kate's debut, even more so than her instantly signature vocal stylings would be her uniquely intelligent emotional viewpoint as a lyricist.

Of course, if you would like more generalized details about Kate's fantastical musical journey, then I will gladly refer you to an earlier blog entry of mine that covers this area, at least in essence. Back to "The Kick Inside," what we have here is an uncensored and entirely open female interpretation of the world around her, but of course, Kate isn't just any woman and her unique insights are bound to increase your intellect by a good twenty points or more. The album opener "Moving" almost seems to refer to sexual awakening mingled with heartbreak, of course, all is very subtle both musically and lyrically, as Kate leaves us with a series of puzzling metaphors to sift through. A few songs later we hear the charming and enchanting "Strange Phenomena," which again, seems to elude to something sexual, but this time the lyrics more so relate to self-realization in terms of reaching that place of adulthood by way of sexual maturity in the physical sense.

And of course, upon the 1978 release, Kate was still roughly a child in a great many respects and there are a few songs that cater to her own brand of precociousness, if that is the right way to refer to it as. One song in particular is simply given the moniker of "Kite," and indeed, the following cut and dry lyrics sway an entirely different direction compared with the two more so introspective songs already mentioned:

Come up and be a kite, and fly a diamond night.

Of course, these lyrics pertain to the song's chorus, as Kate is somewhat more peculiar with the lyrical content that relates to the verse portions of the song, but still, the mood is different and displays her in more of an imaginatively youthful frame of mind. Also, live footage from the time period gives Kate a whole stage to work with and the more up tempo jaunts like "Kite" display her frantic and dramatic dancing abilities with great aplomb.

The most lyrically complex song on the record is "Them Heavy People," and this is the sort of song someone like Freud would have had a field day with. Goodness, where to start? As mentioned already, this record eludes to two Kate Bush personae: The curious girl and the knowing woman. On "Them Heavy People," these two characters meet and have a blast. The lyrics pertain rather clearly to the act of sexual intercourse and the mental changes that this can cause in an individual, and especially if sensual pleasures are a new experience. The lyrics truly tell the tale:

Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me.
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me.

They arrived at an inconvenient time.
I was hiding in a room in my mind.
They made me look at myself. I saw it well.
I'd shut the people out of my life.

So now I take the opportunities:
Wonderful teachers ready to teach me.
I must work on my mind. For now I realise:
Everyone of us has a heaven inside.

Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot.
Them heavy people help me.
Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot.
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me.

They open doorways that I thought were shut for good.
They read me Gurdjieff and Jesu.
They build up my body, break me emotionally.
It's nearly killing me, but what a lovely feeling!

I love the whirling of the dervishes.
I love the beauty of rare innocence.
You don't need no crystal ball,
Don't fall for a magic wand.
We humans got it all, we perform the miracles.

Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot.
Them heavy people help me.
Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot.
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me.
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me.
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball...

Firstly, we have the curious young woman who finally gets her taste of sexual pleasure, and then, by the end of the song she is an old pro in terms of owning her sexuality with an unquestionable confidence. It is quite telling that she was able to get away with so much from a lyrical perspective, especially considering the fact that a lot of her early fans were children. I am nearly for certain as well that an early talk show appearance took her to France, which was actually part of a greater children's television program, and on this show she decided to do a solo piano number about a passionate love affair between two men, needless to say, the language barrier may have very well saved her, and this was no doubt a rather bold and curious move on her part as well. What so often works for Kate then is her ability to capture her audience. She's mysterious, she's beautiful, and no matter what she says or does, she is always far too appealing to deny. One must simply marvel at her talents.

The song "The Man With The Child In His Eyes" is actually quite telling as well, on this cut Kate makes crystal clear that she basically sees most men as little boys, but this is far from some angry feminist manifesto in which being this way for a grown man in terms of personality, is somehow pathetic. For Kate, this very supposed innocence that potentially exists in quite a few men, at least from her perspective, is one of the primary things that attracts her to the opposite sex. Of course, Kate is on par with the best of them, and even if she may not be stylistically to some listeners taste, she is one artist that cannot be denied. Excluding the big hit "Wuthering Heights" that introduced the world of Pop to this phenomenal talent, I feel that I have highlighted this record to the best of my ability. Finally, while Kate's discography clearly indicates she made better albums than "The Kick Inside," one is left to wonder if she ever made another record that was equally as charming.

Kate plays the humor quite broad on the highly choreographed visual delight of "Them Heavy People."

Public Image Limited - "The Flowers of Romance"

John Lydon and his mates in Public Image Limited, or if you will, PiL, by no means messed around. We are talking about Experimental music at its finest. Call it Post-Punk, call it Death Disco, regardless of the labels, I am of the opinion that "The Flowers of Romance" is the very best record by Public Image Limited. Sure, we had some laughs with the 1978 debut and 1979's epic "Metal Box," but with "The Flowers of Romance," one of the defining outfits in Post-Punk almost sounds altogether unlike Post-Punk or anything else for that matter, so as I put it simply: Experimental music. What to make of this material? I mean, did John Lydon invent the English counterpart to Rap, because just what is it that he is rapping about exactly, playa? And I'm not being sarcastic, because the bloke once known as Rotten had some devilish axes to grind, and whether those be about nosey neighbors or what have you, doesn't seem to matter, because John has got some genuine flow in his throat.

Percussion is crucial to this album, and the real star of "The Flowers of Romance" is no doubt the percussionist Martin Atkins, as all sounds like an endless death march with this git on the drum kit. It must be made clear as well that John is quite probably at his caterwauling best on this record. Already at this rather early point in PiL's musical legacy, John had a pretty quick falling out with some of his mates, including bass master Jah Wabble. In fact, the only other original member of the PiL outfit to appear on "The Flowers of Romance" besides John is guitarist Keith Levene, and for the most part he pretty much occupies his time dinking around with cheesy synths. So, here you have a very inventive and peculiar record that is very far from Pop yet rather catchy. One must give Mr. Lydon and his songwriting partners some credit for cooking up worthwhile lyrical themes with quite strange music to match. I must say I have heard little that is similar to this album, and being a Captain Beefheart fan, John seems to have taken the anything goes approach to a very interesting place.

My favorite cut is the album opener "Four Enclosed Walls." I believe this is a cut that mocks absurd religious viewpoints and generalized cultural ignorance. Of course, it is that bone dry death march beat that really drives the point home, and do try your best to locate this album on the vinyl LP format, because the currently released CD version is so "tiny" in terms of sound quality. Mr. Rotten's personality has always steered his musical life, and while the first PiL record was a nice start and the sophomore effort "Metal Box" may very well be the PiL masterpiece, it is then "The Flowers of Romance" that is the fond farewell. It is unfortunate that John did get rather commercial as the '80's moved along, but perhaps this could not be helped in a decade that Michael Jackson pretty much defined. I will say that the singles "This Is Not A Love Song" and "Rise" are some rather curious and worthwhile songs that were featured on PiL records that followed "The Flowers of Romance," however, those albums lacked any real cohesion in the creative sense and mostly fell flat.

If you haven't, give "The Flowers of Romance" a chance and give John credit for in part defining a genre of music that was clearly far more musically worthwhile than Punk if not culturally. Watch "The Flowers of Romance" with John looking like a dandy, mates:

Best Albums By Bowie

David Bowie is a difficult beast to master, one must often times use the flamethrower. And although we may try our collective best, it is usually Bowie who gets the best of us. With that, I present to you what I feel to be the very best albums by Mr. David Bowie, and yes, I am going to tell you why...

Young Americans: For me, things got really cool with this record. And you will soon find that I am one of those Bowie fans that prefers his mid-late '70's material to anything else he has accomplished, I like this era even more so than his celebrated early '70's work. But hey, that is simply how my ear canals roll, girlfriend. I will say as well that "Young Americans" clearly invented a curious little genre in music known as Plastic Soul, which is obviously a precursor to the soulless dreck that Beck released on his bloated "Midnite Vultures" record, as the celebrated "Debra" borrows quite heavily from Bowie's far superior "Win," which is the second track on "Young Americans." This album contains lovely vocal arrangements by Luther Vandross and the hit single "Fame" was co-written by Bowie idol John Lennon, as Lennon also plays rhythm guitar and gives additional backing vocals on this cut. The energetic "Young Americans" song, which is the opening cut on the record, clearly showcases Bowie's gift as a lyricist. If one forgets about his awkward cover of The Beatles "Across The Universe," then all good persons will soon realize that "Young Americans" is some radical Funk on par with the best by The Ohio Players, and I totally shat you in a manner that which is not.

Station To Station: Yes, my favorite Bowie record! We are introduced to the talents of Brian Eno's involvement on this record, as it is only right and natural. This is the greatest Disco record in the history of atheistic Robotic Funk, and I am continually shatting you not, little baby schoolgirl. If paranoia was ever truly set to music then it would clearly be Bowie's eerie masterpiece "TVC15." Christ, does this song ever rock! Damn it! "Golden Years" is a cut that would even get Hitler's mother on the dance floor, it's just that musically rewarding. I find everything on this record to be near-perfect, honestly. We are even treated with a few whimsical numbers that may very well feature Mr. David Bowie at his most lyrically introspective and personal.

Low: Awesome and catchy as fart, and with Brian Eno chilling in the studio per usual. He's like a Chia Pet Phil Spector mingled with a vampire twist. One of the most catchy songs in the history of dinosaurs driving cars is featured on this fantastic LP, and I'm talking about the detached Rock of "Be My Wife." Damn, is this ever good! This is like eating some tasty corn or some shit. I just find the rocking abilities on this record to be so damn plentiful that I am quite thankful that I have yet to receive an overdose of musical enjoyment.

We all know about Bowie's massive influence, both good and bad, and the records I picked were released one after the other. It is on these records that we hear a rare evolution in Pop, and that is the birth of new genres of music. Think about it for a moment, my darling son. Plastic Soul, Post-Punk that somehow even predates Punk itself? These are an interesting series of albums to make sweet love to, and I suggest purchasing them all right now, that is, if they are not crammed up your furry buttocks already. If it was good enough for Ian Curtis of Joy Division, then you should damn well be equally as satisfied, mate. Thank you, and a sincere au revoir to you and yours...

Other Music Sites?

Dear Hilbert,
What are some other useful and intelligent websites and resources for possessed music nerds like me? P.S. My toaster oven is broken.
Sincerely,
Ashley Feeblenipples


Episode Two: The Pitchfork Strikes Back!

Well, Ashley, I'm glad you asked! I've decided to devote this post to englightening you about some other important wesbites in today's world devoted to the reviewing and discussing of mind-melting music tunage. Naturally, scientists find that there is none that compares to Music News, Views, Reviews & Hues, but here I present to you a brief list of music sites that I feel every pathetic music fan deserves to familiarize him/herself with:

http://www.allmusic.com/ Well, duh, homeboy! Allmusic is widely regarded as the most complete and trustworthy music encyclopedia and review-source on the Interweb, and with good reason. The database is immense, with reviews on just about any somewhat-established act, dedicated to pointing a new listener in the right direction with their trademark symbols. What I find most impressive is the reviewers' ability to remain completely objective in their reviews, basing their write-ups on what the artist is, rather than any pretentious ideal on what the artist "should be". For example, here's a review of Kenny G's "Silhouette":

Kenny G was at the top his form with Silhouette, the follow-up to his breakthrough Duotones, turning in a set of smooth, melodic sax that cemented his position as America's favorite pop instrumentalist.

Notice how the kind reviewer didn't mention the fact that Kenny G is a poodle-haired dingleberry with the musical worthiness of my left nut! Allmusic seems designed to appeal to listeners with even the crappiest of tastes. Of course, some times the scores don't seem to fit the review at all, other times it seems like they're way to hesitant to give the full 5-star treatment to newer releases, while going all the way to homeplate with older, jazz stuff at the drop of a hat. The older reviews sometimes consist of a sentenec or two (see above), whereas newer, mainstream reviews are longer than a squirrel-hat sandwich. Nonetheless, there isn't a more professional or objective music review site on the web.

http://www.markprindle.com/ Alright, now if Allmusic is the most objective and professional site for music reviews, my fellow New Yorker Mark Prindle is way, way at the opposite side of the spectrum. He's been maintaining a personal record review site since 1996, writing often inane record reviews that are at once informative and utterly moronic/hilarious! For example, consider this excerpt from a review of Aerosmith's most recent crapfest, "Honkin` on Bobo":

You know what I just realized? Apparently nobody has reserved the URL "www.aflkdjafkdsjafkldsjaf;kldjfakldfja;dfjajadslflsadf.com." No, seriously! I checked and got this crazy note back from my browser saying "We can't find 'www.aflkdjafkdsjafkldsjaf;kldjfakldfja;dfjajadslflsadf.com' You can try again by typing the URL in the address bar above. Or, search the Web." And then it says, "Check availability or register the domain name 'www.aflkdjafkdsjafkldsjaf;kldjfakldfja;dfjajadslflsadf.com'." I mean, that's totally fucked up. What kind of an asshole do I look like sitting here stuck in a year-long subscription to www.mrakprindel.com or whatever the hell it is I can never remember, when I could be sitting pretty and watching the visitors roll right in at www.aflkdjafkdsjafkldsjaf;kldjfakldfja;dfjajadslflsadf.com? Goddamn it. Goddamn everything. Nothing will ever be good again.

Or, here we have Mark's touching imitation of Eminem's crapfest, "Encore":
Everybody misunderstands me, and I grew up without a father. You know I love you Hayley, you're my world. But your mother, who contributed half of your DNA, is a fucking bitch!!!! But the reason I feel that way is because I grew up without a father. Fuck shit asshole you suck! (*fart noise*) Fag joke! (*belch noise*) The war is wrong, and if I get killed now, you know why it happened? It's because I had the BALLS, the GUTS to be the ONE person in entertainment to speak out against the war! (*vomit noise*) Here are some Michael Jackson jokes I heard ten years ago. "Boy -- oops! I mean "girl"! HA HA! (*belch noise*) I'm so angry at that guy who does that insult dog puppet character. I think I'll make fun of that guy, but without being funny at all, because somewhere along the line I completely lost my sense of humor. "I keed! I keed!" And the rest of this song makes NO SENSE AT ALL! (*vomit noise*) Look how crazy and wacky I am! I'm crazy! My weenie is bigger than yours! To say that, I must be CrAzY! (*belch noise through an effects processor*) I never meant to make anybody die. I grew up without a father! I was white, and black people didn't like me. Don't you feel sorry for me and my sad youth? Here, let me talk about fucking some girl. Also, let me take care to not make a single fucking one of these songs danceable. Yeah! I'll fill them all with slow clunky beats and simplistic synth "riffs" that sound like Dr. Dre b-sides from the early '90s! Also, I totally and completely suck now!

Mr. Prindle is also blessed with impeccable taste in music, which he rates on a fair 1-10 red circle system, with only one album per artist recieving the full ten yards. His site is vivaciously filled with annual surveys, regular interviews, and Wacky Weekly WPhotos! Anyway, I recently came to the conclusion that he is my favorite music critic to ever walk our glorious nation of Earth. God help me.
His Rush reviews aren't really that bad. See his desert island album choices!

http://www.metacritic.com/ This site seems to be for the ever-calculating robot in all of us, or maybe for those who are tired of wading through faux-profound Pitchfork reviews that describe albums like:

"...an expression of lovesick guilt that perpetually crescendos until the track unexpectedly explodes into a dance section, still soaked in the melodrama of weeping strings; the song's psychological despair gives way to a purely physical catharsis. The anthemic momentum of "Rebellion (Lies)" counterbalances Butler's plaintive appeal for survival at death's door, and there is liberation in his admittance of life's inevitable transience. "In the Backseat" explores a common phenomenon-- a love of backseat window-gazing, inextricably linked to an intense fear of driving-- that ultimately suggests a conclusive optimism through ongoing self-examination. "I've been learning to drive my whole life," Chassagne sings, as the album's acoustic majesty finally recedes and relinquishes..."

Basically, Metacritic is here to compile reviews from just about every major review site on the web, complete with excerpts, score averages, user comments, music boards, and annual listings of the best-scoring albums of the year. While some of these silly review sites should be taken with a grain of pepper, it's still useful as a tool (hehe, Beavis) for aspiring music afficianados.

http://rateyourmusic.com/? Alright, so basically think of Rate Your Music as Amazon customer reviews, except with reviewers with IQ's slightly higher than that of a door knob. Viewers like you! submit their own reviews and scores, and, like Metacritic, the site dutifully calculates averages (imagine the poor guy with that job!) and lists top albums by year, decade, century, millisecond... The only downside here is that the site is slower than a tortoise in a consistent vegetative state.

http://www.capnmusic.org/ Like Prindle's site, this is a private music-reviewing site run by another music connoiseur. Unlike Prindle's site, Capn Marvel assigns points on a letter grade scale, has a bit of a tilt towards classic rock, organizes the site by genre, lives in Russia and hasn't updated the site since December. Certainly worth a surfin`, nonetheless.

Know of any other music-reviewing sites that don't reek of patchouli-stink? Send me a telegram!

Fin.

Ten Reasons Why "The Beatles" Is The Supreme, Best and Mightiest Beatles Album!

In fourth grade, we learned the difference between fact and opinion. In fact, the example was:

Fact: That grass is green.
Opinion: That grass is too long.
Stoner: This grass is just right.

It is a fact that "The Beatles" (or "The White Album", as you kids lovingly call it) is better than all other Beatles records, and I shall prove it via this two-column, mathematical proof:

"The Beatles" - Every other Beatles album > 0

They did it all for the nookie!

10. It's so colorful! Truth be told, I find it astoundingly ironic that a record with a cover as blank (Frank!) as this:



...can contain music that can accurately be described as just plain...colorful. I mean, it's bursting at the seam with melodies, unpredictable harmonies, and more variety than was deemed acceptable back in the year of our lord, 1968. But more on that later...

9. It makes no sense! It makes perfect sense! I also find it incredible that the infamous sound collage of "Revolution 9" could be followed up with the sweet lullabye closer, "Good Night". But I suppose it ain't the variety per se that impresses me, but rather the way they make it just..work, like the hand of God floating on top of the Seine. It's like they invented punk rock ("Helter Skelter") and out-whimsicalled Of Montreal ("Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da") on the same slab of vinyl (and by "same slab of vinyl", I clearly mean "completely different slab of vinyl"), and make it seem like it's completely logical. In 1968, mind you. The year of our lord!

8. The band pictures in the liner notes. They all had mustaches except for John. Oh, rebels are soo dreamy!

7. "Happiness! Bang bang! Shoot shoot!" Yes, I'm devoting an entire number to a couple of seconds worth of background vocals. What da fuck you gon' do 'bout it, punk?

6. This is the closest the Beatles ever came to sounding like Ween. Because this album is a wacky collection of seemingly-unrelated, and often strange pop songs are united by....genius! It's like Ween's entire career condensed into one slab of vinyl (and by "one slab of vinyl", I clearly mean "two slabs of vinyl".)

5. The Beatles Have A Sense Of Humor. Now, when you're crying your cutesy little emo tears to such quasi-freak-nostalgic anthems as "In My Life", it's easy to forget that The Fab Four isn't afraid to just kick back and be regular old goon-dogs for a change. Continuing with reason #6, there are some downright band/genre parodies on here! "Back in the U.S.S.R" goofs on the classic Beach Boys stylee, "Honey Pie" gives us some delicious chamber-pop (sort of), "Rocky Raccoon" is like Bob Dylan-on-laughing gas, "Piggies" harkens back to the political allegories of old, "Yer Blues" = suicidal blues, and "Why Don't We Do It In The Road?" is a regular old, kinky sex-romp. Eww. I mean, ha! Sense of humor! Werd! Just call him "Weird Al" Lennon!

4. One hour, thirty two minutes, three seconds. It's been rumored that George Martin (the fifth Beatle! Oh wait, there were only four of them. I forgot.) begged the band to trim it down to a single album, but each band member had a song or two that just had to go on the album! Thank God Martin lost that argument. More Beatles = Better Beatles.

3. Songwriting. At the end of the day, it's the songwriting that counts. Not the sense of humor, not the length, not the variety, and not any of the other asinine reasons I came up with but don't feel like reading again. And, The Beatles Happening are thirty for thirty when it comes to constructing perfect pop songs. Shi-ka-ka! *bows*

2. "Wild Honey Pie" Hoooneeeyy piiieee!!!!!!! Hhhhhhooooneeeeyyy pppiiieeee!!!!!!!!!! (off-key acoustic guitar noodling) Lather, rinse, repeat. I love you, honey pie! This song is beyond description, but I dig it somethin' fierce. So do The Pixies - they covered it on that B.B.C. live album biz.

1. White power! Just kidding. No seriously, I didn't mean it. *does stand-up comedy at The Laugh Factory*

Yes, I'd like extra Ted Bundy with my Beatles!

Judee Sill - "Heart Food"

The sequel to her self-titled debut is the superior of her two legit records released in the early '70's. While "Heart Food" may not be the best place to start of the two, it is certainly the most spiritually rewarding, if you will. Much of this record rather mysteriously encompasses Judee's invented religion of Sillism, as she referred to it. Also, here we have Judee orchestrating the entire affair. On this record as well we observe a rather strong Country Rock vibe, and it is so mellow and peaceful and effortless that it simply cannot be denied. The lyrics are sharper and somewhat less dated on "Heart Food," and are often worth contemplation worthy of Sister Wendy Beckett. Similar to her debut, the majority of what is heard is short and to the point. The best of the Country Rock based material is found on "There's A Rugged Road" and "The Pearl." This is not cut and dry Country Rock like one would hear in a shitty Eagles song, as one must remember that Judee has involved some rather complex string arrangements on these cuts.

There's a powerful R & B vibe on the lyrically potent "Down Where The Valleys Are Low," which makes clear that Judee's diversity is genuine, and her emotional intelligence displayed throughout this album is something that someone like Cat Power can only hope to fake. Judee's the real deal, and her second record is emotionally raw on the whole, but I'm not talking about some screaming maniac like Janis Joplin, because as mentioned in my review of her debut, Judee's musical ear never allows her to stray away from anything less than 100% musically rewarding. Tackling her voice once again, it is quite individualistic, almost like slow molasses, if that's the right way to put it. Any human being with a musical ear will gather to Judee's albums like honey, my babies. There's a slow yet danceable pace to a great many of these songs, which almost makes them off-kilter somehow, naturally trippy. Because, one must understand that Judee is a melodic master, but when it comes to any real substantial rhythmic quality she's a bit out to lunch in that regard.

Moving on to the hit that never was, "Soldier Of The Heart" is quite probably the best song on the record. With Judee's blues-driven piano melody and a beat which sounds like a precursor to Disco, this song is just astounding. Judee even displays a bit of vocal range on this song as she tackles her own unique variation of a falsetto during the song's more whimsical moments. As is often the case, her lyrics are rather vague yet universal. All seems to be a puzzle to solve, but much of what she writes is deeply personal, and yet, doesn't come off like some laughable diary entry. She's definitely inspired and motivated musically by some spiritual strangeness, although religious investigation was common during her time and place, she may have been the only one to dedicate herself to a mysterious religion that she herself invented. Of course, all of this could be legend, but it is interesting regardless. Even if it is pure imagination, it certainly helps her music loop along with a great deal of fervor. The fireside beat of "The Phoenix," is such a delicate and powerful number that it simply can't be beat, and get a load of the curious lyrical content:

On phosphorous wings the Phoenix floated
The fires froze and the sea was hushed
And when I tried to speak, the sun imploded
And the war will rage in my guts,
Till the devil bites the dust,
I never saw him losing a race,
But I think he must...

The only weak number is not surprisingly, the only tune on the album that was not penned by Miss Sill, and that would be "When The Bridegroom Comes," which was written by some lame boyfriend she had at the time. However, we are then quickly moved on to the album's final cut, and it is one of the most powerful and otherworldly songs I have ever heard. Clocking in at roughly ten minutes, which is a rarity for Judee, "The Donor" is a religious mantra of some sort. Judee's skills as a musical virtuoso, and in particular, her ability to arrange vocal performances, shines most of all on this album closer. It is almost like a sacred piece of music by Johann Sebastian Bach, and this is certainly appropriate, since Bach is one of Judee's major influences, which is no doubt another rarity amongst the singer/songwriter genre of the early '70's. Judee was special, and certainly, her small cult of devoted fans knew as much, as did most critics, but for various reasons Miss Sill never caught on in the commercial sense. This is quite troubling in a lot of respects, as she added an interesting layer to the now cliche singer/songwriter genre of the time period, as not everything produced during the time period involved Cat Stevens crying over a rainbow, not that there's anything wrong with that as it serves its purpose, but Judee was so much more.

Introducing Judee Sill (A Review of Her Debut)

Mellow supermarket music always sends me away to fantasy land. Much of what is then heard on the epic 1971 debut by Miss Sill is really quite delicious and beautiful. This is perfect music when reading a book or when the rain is preventing good Christians from attending church services, but I digress like a motherfucker. This lovely AM Folk Pop epic appropriately starts on a somber note with the reflective and mysterious "Crayon Angels." The song appears to tackle the universal themes of longing and love lost. Judee Sill can really capture a good old fashioned lonely Neil Young moment when she wants to, just to make clear, and unlike so many cliche female singer/songwriters of the time period, Miss Sill appropriately keeps the drama to a minimum. She has an effortless quality in her vocal approach, and she makes excellent use of her curious voice with its slight Southern drawl throughout this blissful S/T debut.

"The Phantom Cowboy" is a little cosmic freak out, and I truly enjoy her tasteful use of vocal harmonies, as this is very much a well produced singer/songwriter album worthy of Sweet Baby James at his lamest (Eat me, James Taylor!). A personal favorite contains some of Judee's bizarre and mystical lyrical ramblings, and the juicy tune in question is given the moniker of "The Lamb Ran Away With The Crown." Again, this is yet another song in which Judee backs herself up with additional vocal duties, and the melodies are so sweet that they will pretty much suck your soul clean off. I would like to make clear that Judee was a damn fine acoustic finger-picking freak, perhaps even on par with Nick Drake himself, or pretty damn close, anyhow. The only "Hits" on the record essentially stem from a song Judee originally penned for those dorks in The Turtles and a one-off session with super Hippie Graham Nash, and for the curious, those two lovely gems are "Lady-O" and "Jesus Was A Cross Maker," respectively.

Such a short little record at just a hair over thirty minutes, and perhaps the only thing that this album is then lacking, would be the orchestration skills that Judee displayed on her second and more religious-oriented follow-up "Heart Food." Of her two records, this one may very well be the easiest of all to digest. There are moments of intensity as are sometimes displayed in the lyrics, but each cut is very inviting regardless. The soft percussive element, and not to mention Judee's additional skills as a pianist, make for toe-tapping ear candy that predictably bears repeated groovy head shaking experiences. You're going to like the way you feel after each play, no question. Of course, for the gentlemen, some of the more girlie-driven numbers may be a bit silly to shake your masculine buttocks to, but the music is so powerful and palatable and inviting to your macho jerk ears, that you may not have much of a choice, mate.

Of course, while some of the lyrics may perhaps be understandably dated, it is ultimately Judee Sill The Composer who shines most of all, because that is what drives her music: UNDENIABLE MELODIES. I suggest catching a cloudy chocolate train journey to the center of Judee Sill's soul, because she is leaving everything open for investigation. And if you like the satisfying and timeless sounds produced here, then by all means be sure to nab up her "Heart Food" album as well, but do be warned that the mood is darker on her epic final album. I have an earlier blog entry that discusses Judee Sill more so in the general sense, so give it a read, if you have a moment to spare. Of course, rather detailed information can be found on various web sites for any FAQ's you may have in relation to Judee.

Move over, Cat Stevens! Because Judee's got your number, and her melodies have been working overtime, buster! BUY JUDEE'S GNARLY DEBUT: Judee Sill.

Thanks for looking, my shy little darlings! Tee-hee!

Speaking of Crayon Angels...

LCD Soundsystem - "Sound of Silver"

This new LCD Soundsystem album makes me happy happy happy!

I find that there are often two categories of awesome, mind-melting album openers. There are the monumental explosions that burst out of the speakers, like the adrenaline rush of "Race for the Prize" or the instant "Aaah!" of "Born Under Punches (The Heat Goes On)". Even that ugly guitar-snarl at the beginning of "Down on the Street" hits the mark. Then, there's the opposite: the slow-burning, opening tracks, almost suggesting that they're building a picture for the listener. For example, the ringing hum of "Where the Streets Have No Name", or those moaning keyboards at the start of "Everyday" by Yo La Tengo, or the growing dissonance of "Pinion" by Nine Inch Nails.

"Get Innocous!", "Sound of Silver"'s opener, falls into the latter category. It begins with what sounds like a fairly regular electro-beat, as a thumping drone builds up to dominate the sound. Bustling percussion and one simple keyboard chord all vie for volume control, making this one of the most memorable opening-build ups I've heard in a long time.

37-year-old dance musician (there is such a thing!) James Murphy finally encountered some success on his self-titled 2005 debut, a masterful, funky collection of groovy dance tracks filtered through a rock `n roll vibe. There was the instant classic "Dance Punk is Playing at My House", worn-out Lennon tribute "Never as Tired as When I'm Waking Up" and the irresistable "Disco Infiltrator". It even came with a second-disc of remixes and extended work-outs. Murphy even stated in interviews that he refused to write out his lyrics prior to going in the vocal booth, to allow a sense of candidness. Last month's "Sound of Silver" seems to condense this unique brand of awesomerockingfreakness into much more of an album of sorts, rather than just a collection of, well, awesomerockingfreakness.

But, this James Murphy fella seems to have come out of nowhere with one of the first T-R-U-L-Y- G-R-E-A-T- records of the year, filled with joyful songs, joyful sounds, joyful lyrics and joyful moments. It's a joy to listen to, bursting with joyful things. Joyful joyful joyful. I had a babysitter named Joy when I was a kid.

Because it's "intelligent dance music", just like all them hipsters like to say, but so far removed from the Prefuse 73's and Boards of Canada's who seem to believe that "intelligent dance music" equates dance music that ya just can't dance to! "Sound of Silver" is at once a catchy and accessible encapsulation of decades worth of influences and sounds, live from New York, it's Saturday Morning Music News, Views & Reviews!

Now, listen here sonny, I don't usually do this sort of thing since it's a pretty lazy way to discuss an album, but I'm just gonna talk about this track-by-track, since there are just so many moments and sounds and pieces that I anticipate and love, and each song is killer! Except for that one. The one that the guy sings on. If you're bored easily by pointless song descriptions, feel free to skip this. I just feel like doin` some old-fashioned, self-indulgent rambling about how great all these songs are. Happy April fourteenth.

1. "Get Innocuous!": Now, what I didn't mention in the unbelievable pointless introduction to this blog entry is that the opening drone eventually flows into a groovy-monster with uncharacteristically moaning vocals that sound straight out of Eno's first solo album. Favorite moment: the woman's voice at 4:13.

2. "Time to Get Away": It sounds like a Prince outtake produced by Daft Punk. His voice cracks on "time". Following the formula of many LCD Soundsystem songs (see! Sometimes formulas are a-okay!), it begins with just a drum-n-bass rhythm track, gradually accumulated elements until we achieve funk moksha. Favorite moment: That little, cheap-sounding synth riff that adds sooo much at 1:01. Great chorus, too.

3. "North American Scum": It's the first single for a reason, you know - it's packed with more awesome than a polar bear loose at a porno theatre. A really rolicking tribute to my (and your) home continent with a great chorus of "Aaaah! Aah! Hahaha!". Favorite moment: "For those of you who think that we're from England. We're not...no."

4. "Someone Great": More like some great song! Gublbug! Musically, there's a downbeat, retro feel to the wishy-washy synth melody, with a subtle xylophone. Lyrically, it's by far Murphy's most personal territory yet, all about *gasp!* failed relationships! Few could craft such a solemn pop song around such unlikely elements. Best moment: "The worst is all the lovely weather, I'm stunned it's not raining. The coffee isn't even bitter because, what's the difference?"

5. "All My Friends": Piano, this time. A whole lot of it. The bass elevates it from pointless drone to melodic drone. Almost eight minutes of melodic repition, yet it never gets dull. Best moment: The very beginning.

6. "Us V Them": if "North American Scum" is the "Daft Punk is Playing At My House" of the album, then this is quite clearly the "Disco Infiltrator". It's another irresistable beast of rhythmic perfection and chanting, and everything in between. I love all 8 minutes, 29 seconds. Again, it's genius through simplicity. A simple synth-riff repeated over and over, same lines chanted over and over... Best moment: Either at 49 seconds, when he mumbles "bells" and, alas, God made bells! Or it's the incredible climax at the ending, with the "Us V Them!" chant and the monstrous percussion swirls. Perfect song.

7. "Watch the Tapes": Read all the pamphlets (and watch the tapes)! Read all the pamphlets (and watch the tapes)! Read all the pamphlets (and watch the tapes)! I get all confused when you mix up the dates...best moment: 3:10. Lalalalalalal!

8. "Sound of Silver": Probably one of the stranger, less-popular moments on the album. It starts off with a barely-musical chant, and continues with a 7-minute journey through just about every synth effect on Murphy's keyboard. Bets moment: the aforementioned opening chant: "Sound of silver, talk to me. Makes you want to feel like a teenager. Until you remember the feelings of a real live emotional teenager. Then you think again."

9. "New York, I Love You, But You're Bringing Me Down": Such a great note to end the album on, a awkwardly pefect tribute to da hometown! Sounds like someone wrote out some lyrics before he went into the vocal booth! Sample verse: "New York, you're perfect, oh please, don't change a thing. Your mild billionaire mayor's now convinced he's a king. And so the boring collect. I mean all disrespect. And the neighborhood bars I once dreamt I would drink. New York, I love you, but you're freaking me out. There's a ton of the twist, but we're fresh out of shout." Eventually, we end up at a "Wrong! Right! Woof!" Queen-like breakdown of sorts, and back again. Best moment: The. Whole. Damn. Song!

Happy happy happy.

10 Coolest Music Videos Of The 1990s

The 10 Coolest Music Videos Of The 1990s (Leave Your Hateful Comments Below, Thank You!)

Radiohead - "Just"

You know there's that thing that happens at the end. What does he say? Huh?



The Chemical Brothers - "Let Forever Be" (Noel Gallagher on vocals)

This video is directed by the kick ass Michel Gondry. Very psychedelic visuals as should be expected.



NIN - "Closer"

Both the song and the video define a time, my brothers.



Radiohead - "Fake Plastic Trees"

Lovely song and the whole weird supermarket thing works somehow.



Nirvana - "Smells Like Teen Spirit"

Sorry kids, I just can't leave off this one. Blows my mind that this video came out... 15? 16? years ago.



Aphex Twin - "Come To Daddy"

Ah yes. This video was creepy as hell when I first saw it many moons ago. And it's still pretty damn creep now in 2007. Dig it. This was directed by Chris Carpenter.



Aphex Twin - "Windowlicker"

Watch it.



Weezer - "Buddy Holly"

Terribly cute, is it not?



The Beastie Boys - "Sabotage"



Beck - "Loser"



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Alright I'm sure there are many hundreds of great videos I haven't included, my friends. But these are pretty good and now they're all in one sexy place. Delicious. Let me know what you'd like included? (Leave Comments.)

The Top Five Motion Picture Soundtracks

How does one do it, might I ask? And no, I am not referring to the horizontal mambo, you sad old git. But rather, I am thinking of a sort of music that is truly free as a bird. For, you see, the motion picture soundtrack has no rules. This is an anything goes genre of music. Is the composer then trying to capture a specific mood? Does the filmmaker want something precise? And believe me, I won't be listing a single soundtrack from a Wes Anderson film, Mark Mothersbaugh or not! Let me make clear that I am not interested in soundtracks that are basically just compilations, save that nonsense for a Time Life series, buster! I am dead serious about quality music in film, as it can often times be the finest. Now then, let's have a look, shall we?

1. Barry Lyndon: Ah, yes! This is a wonderful film score to a painfully underrated Stanley Kubrick film. Stanley's selection of Classical pieces from both the Baroque and Classical eras match up with the film's scenes with such unbounded beauty, and rarely has a director merged music with a visual more masterfully than Stanley Kubrick, except for some of the better work by David Lynch. And here we have as well on the Barry Lyndon soundtrack, a rather appropriate selection of Celtic Folk music as it pertains to the first part of the film most significantly of all.

2. Ravenous: Well, I already dedicated a previous blog entry which discussed nothing but this motion picture soundtrack, and it is a beauty! Michael Nyman is a music scholar to be reckoned with, there's no question. His knowledge of period-specific music, if you will, is just astounding according to my ears. And oddly enough, his collaborator on the film was that sassy Brit Damon Albarn of Blur fame. Some of the more curious pieces almost somehow harken back to the danceable Death Disco days, which was when the members of Joy Division first tripped over a keyboard. Everything is sprawled out so beautifully in terms of music, and each devilish scene is treated with an most original and unsettling series of sounds.

3. A Clockwork Orange: It is safe to say that the music in this Stanley Kubrick adaptation based upon the Anthony Burgess novel is just as well known as the chilling scenes and dialogue that take place in the film. Wendy Carlos is a genius and early revolutionary when dealing with synthetic and electronic-based music. There is something very haunting, and also somewhat dated, to hear a piece by Beethoven almost somehow sound like a precursor to Disco. The visual imagery as only a genius like Kubrick can master, mingled then with such far out sounds that were indeed very advanced for the time period, and thus, a superb film score was birthed real horrorshow.

4. Heart Of Glass: Ah, this is a German film by Werner Herzog. Thank goodness he had a soft spot for the Kraut Rock of Popol Vuh, as that is why this film soundtrack has made my epic Top Five list. There is something spiritual and strange about the music of Popol Vuh, and the meditative bliss is idyllic for an experimental feature film in which the majority of the cast in fact acted under hypnosis. The film is essentially based upon Bavarian folk legend, but that doesn't stop Werner Herzog from utilizing Popol Vuh's "Wall Of Guitars" approach to some of the more poignant scenes. Also, and for those interested, the film includes some rather stark and frightening instrumental pieces that date from the Middle Ages.

5. Orlando: Again, yet another selection based upon a previous blog entry. I can't think of a film more appropriate to add to this list, and the wonderful contemporary approach to the Classical genre is a great success. This film, which is based upon a Virginia Woolf adaptation contains such a lush array of images; and so then it is equally as appropriate that the sounds contained within are equally as exquisite. Watch as Tilda Swinton lives for centuries, switches genders, and repeatedly stares into the camera. Needless to say, the bloke who handled the majority of the score was quite probably no doubt very much inspired, mates.

So, that is the list. I would like to make clear that each individual selection is available for purchase, so get out your credit card and indulge in these wonderful sounds. Whether my selections relate to quality choices by the filmmaker in question, or if contemporary composers were able to capture something magical, in either instance, this is the sort of music you will want to feed to your ears time and again. And with that, my cute little man-bosoms are out the door.

And now, some of the more so traditional music featured in Herzog's "Heart Of Glass."

Beck's "Mellow Gold" (A Sad Legacy?)

How does one dissect an album exactly? Is this going to be an easy process? I am going to try my best to explain as best I can, the beauty and truth that is "Mellow Gold." This is the major label debut of an mysterious elf simply known as Beck. This is probably one of the most bizarre albums to crack the Top Twenty on the Pop charts, but that's appropriate considering the fact that the musical mainstream was somewhat more experimental and diverse in 1994. While it is my opinion that quite a lot by Beck is unfortunately dated, making him very much a product of his time. "Mellow Gold" is indeed dated, but it is still just as entertaining as ever. The musical tricks that we associate with Beck today were very much a new phenomena in 1994. "Loser" is the opening track, and is a damn sight more lyrically impressive than Cobain's mumbling opus "Smell's Like Teen Spirit." The fun didn't stop with "Loser," as "Mellow Gold" successfully expresses creativity in Pop at its finest. Every musical idea is a successful experiment and all twelve tracks on this record bear repeated plays.

In the early days, when it appeared that Beck's mainstream success would be a short-lived affair, he was almost like a user-friendly Captain Beefheart, guaranteed NOT to scare your girlfriend. While he was ultimately destined to be a vacant Pop icon, the youthful Beck that greeted all of the mainstream attention that "Loser" brought him in the early '90's, was a rather difficult character to pinpoint exactly. He had an idyllic public relations technique at the beginning of his career, in which he in fact pretended to be an early twentieth-century hobo, and it worked, as the rags to riches saga always sells. Beck's lyrical content of the time period matched the sort of anything goes approach of a hobo hopping a freight train. He was examining down and out characters, and often prattled on about being unemployed. Much like David Lynch, Beck was ultimately spinning universal yarns, albeit, in a decidedly surrealist fashion.

One of the most haunting numbers on the record would have to be the eerie ballad known as "Whiskey Clone (Hotel City 1997)," and of which, we are celebrating the tenth anniversary. It's a spooky little number about hopelessness, convalescing, and the ability to talk with squirrels. The strange Folk tendencies continued on the Lo-Fi epic "Truck Driving Neighbors Down Stairs (Yellow Sweat)," and appropriately displaying his ragged lifestyle of the time period, the introduction to the song captures an actual verbal spat that took place between two drunken truckers in the apartment either below or above Beck. "Mellow Gold" is also a noted record that actually did something interesting with Hip-Hop, and that was to translate the traditional Talking Blues lyrical tradition to heavily beat-processed and sampled jams. There is even a sort of far away Psychedelic appeal on more laid back numbers like "Steal My Body Home" and "Black Hole." The Bob Dylan comparisons often seemed appropriate, as lyrics were very much the focus of Beck's early output. Never again did he display such lyrical inventiveness as was the case on his first three or four records, most of which were released in 1994.

In retrospect, certainly, "Beer Can" should have been a huge hit. It would have been a nice sequel to the "Loser" chaos of the time period. Another failed single was "Pay No Mind (Snoozer)," again, another potent Folk Ballad. "Pay No Mind (Snoozer)" was a rather curious follow-up to "Loser," and they seemed to have made a music video for the tune just for the hell of it, and by they, I mean Beck and longtime music video collaborator Steve Hanft. Again, as to why Beck did not have a few more hit tunes off this record is beyond me, as anything here is certainly more catchy than pretentious rubbish by The Smashing Pumpkins or Nine Inch Nails. But again, a lot of this had to do with the fact that Beck was a rather difficult bloke to market to the young people. He survived primarily based upon the strength of his songs and his ability to craft impressive albums as well. Only later did he become more so a "character" that was more palatable to mainstream audiences, or at this point, the new Adult Contemporary crowd.

I am also quite keen on "Nightmare Hippie Girl," a gentle Folk Ballad worthy of James Taylor. It is also always good fun to rock out to the Noise Rock of "Mother Fucker" as well, and do keep in mind that Beck had some pretty good pipes for Death Metal vocal stylings during this time period as well. And while I won't mention each individual track on this creatively fertile record, I will say that it is ultimately probably Beck's very best, and maybe always will be. Even during the time period in which this album was released, Beck was somehow an alternative to Alternative. Everything about his music seemed to be external, almost like Pop Art set to music, albeit, and as mentioned, with a wonderful surrealist twist. Being a bit of a musicologist even prior to being a Scientologist, ensured that Beck had some fantastic musical influences, and for a fan like myself, he was indeed a gateway to artists far superior than himself. So, here you have an album that stands on its own to this very day as a wonderful creative work of art in Pop. If you do not own this record, do indeed purchase it. And if it has in fact been lying rather doormat on your shelf, do indeed dust it off and give it a friendly listen.

And now, the Pop hits that never were...

Pay No Mind:



Beercan:

CAN...

...we fix it? Yes, we can!

A guide of sorts to these five unpronouncable names and one DJ!

Rhythmic. Abstract. Hipnotic. "Instant Compositions". Exotic. Bratwurst.

CAN formed in Cologne, Germany in 1968, and eventually became one of the most influential artists of all time by accident, inventing the sub-genre of saurKrautrock in the process. With just a couple of seminal early 70's recording, these foreign fellers helped pioneer everything from avant-garde to dance music to ambient!

It's no jolk, folks. They've been lovingly ripped off by everyone from The Fall ("I Am Damo Suzuki") to The Flaming Lips ("Take Meta Mars") to Radiohead (much of the "Kid A" album). In the wise words of music connoisseur Mark Prindle:

"Hi, I'm Bob Screw."

Wait, hold on, wrong quote. Here it is:

"Modern bands who were obviously influenced by Can include Stereolab and The Fall. Modern bands who probably have never heard of Can include No Doubt and Smashing Pumpkins. Modern bands who simply Can't include Limp Bizkit.

Modern bands who actually aren't even bands include Erma Bombeck."

Anyway, some insane American goon-dog named Malcolm Mooney was their original singer. Of course, "singer" is a mis-leading word, since he mostly just yelled "Yoo Doo Right!" in a horribly scratchy voice, akin to a homeless man stuck in a rabbit hole. The band's debut, "Monster Movie", is more of a garage rock-ish, tuneless Velvet Underground-like mess, unlike the tonal, hypnotic (yet vaguely melodic) grooves that we've grown to love from CAN. The only skippable release in the early CAN CANnon.

Anway, the band didn't really hit its stride until Mooney left the band, on the advice of his psychiatrist, no doubt. Damo Suzuki was found at some cafe and hired on the spot, despite his lack of musical skills at the time. During the early 70's, CAN released four classic albums that belong in every respectable music collection: a formidable influence on nearly all musical trends of the past thirty, and yet they sound like nothing else. The albums in question:


"Soundtracks" (1970): Thing is, this is a 35.2 minute transition album of sorts, since it represents the switch between vocalists. Yet, lord all mighty, I proclaim it to be the best 35.2 minute transitional album I've ever heard!
Anyway, it's called "Soundtracks" since it's mostly comprised of music contributed to films, but it deserves some studio album recognition. Mssr. Mooney sings on the primal "Soul Desert", which somehow sounds equally deranged, but funkier and catchier than all of "Monster Movie" combined. "Don't Turn the Light On, Leave me Alone" and "Tango Whiskeyman" both combine minimalistic melodies with irresistable percussion chops. Great success! Then there's the epic "Mother Sky", which is where CAN really first unleashed their Krautrock madness on the world. The haunting melody seeps in and out, as random instruments take turns soloing over what basically consists of one bass note repeating for 14+ minutes. Astoundingly, it never gets dull; such is the mysterious nature of CAN. The album ends with the smooth grooves of "She Brings The Rain", which is at once sexy and midly exotic. The future begins here!

"Tago Mago" (1971): Ah, yes, the double album... Seems like almost every great classic rock band has tried it. Is it worth sacrificing consistency in the name of pure, uncontrolled inspiration? While I cannot hold with those who call this CAN's best, I still must point to "Tago Mago" as the most groundbreaking, the most bold and simply, the most monstrous. With the jazzy drumming, the tape edits and the unusual vocal stylings, this is the beginning of CAN's holy trinity. It's by far their longest and wildest, and even has the coolest cover art!

Listen to the waltz-groove of "Paperhouse" slide out of your speakers in typical CAN fashion. "Mushroom" sports an intense hip hop-like drumbeat, later appearing on the Lips' "In A Priest Driven Ambulance" album. Then there's the backwards vocals of "Oh Yeah". God only knows where Damo was trying to go with this stuff, but he succeeded in creating ahead-of-its-time pop music that truly takes the listener to another world. "Halleluwah" is the centerpiece: an 18 minute monster of intense funk rhythms, nonsensical lyrics and one bizarre violin solo. It's just oozing with alien vibes and decadent slime - the over-the-top experimentalism and uncharted territory of all `70s music scenes encapsulated in one "song". Unfortunately, it's the two songs following it that prevent me from really rewarding this classic album a perfect score. Allmusic may describe "Aumgn" as a "near-genius...ever-evolving wash", but to me it just sounds like a studio fucking around. For over 17 minutes, I keep expecting it to build up to something awesome^100, but it never does. The echoey Japanese moaning just doesn't float my boat, per se. "Peking O" suffers from similar problems, but would be much more tolerable if it didn't follow the pointless previous track. See, I can dig this contrast of early drum machines, synthesizer squealing and ridonculous babbling when I'm in a quest for insanity type of mood, but all together, it's just too much of nothing. The album recovers on the final track, ending similar to how it began...

-"Ege Bamyasi" (1972): See me after class if you can pronounce the title. I can't. Or if you can tell me why there's a bag of green beans on the cover. Regardless, I do know that this is a fair bit shorter and more approachable than "Tago Ego Waffle", which is either a good or bad thing, depending on the position of the moon. I prefer "Ege Bamyasi" of the two - the production seems to be up a notch, making me wonder how the hell this came out of 1972. In addition, there ain't any pointless sound swamp weaselling around, and every song's a winner! Once again, the drums lead the mind-melting journey through drone-pop madness. Check out the way "One More Night" grooves on a catchy 7/4, with some wonderfully twisted keyboards fitting into the shuffle. Then there's the aggressive "Vitamin C", with an orgasmic drum beat and a rockin` chorus of "Hey You! You're losing, you're losing, you're losing, you're losing your vitamin C!"

Listen to this mangled stew. I dare you to tell me that "Pinch" doesn't sound like a companion piece to some 70's Miles Davis fusion record. I dare you to tell me that the final two songs aren't catchy enough to be top 40 hits on Jupiter. I dare you to listen to "Soup" (Blind Melon!) and not soil yourself. Okay, fine, I double-doggy dare you.

"Future Days" (1973): Critics may disagree all they want, but I honestly believe that each of CAN's first five records somehow improved upon the last in some way, with "Future Days" being the height of musical bliss. This is it, by the way. One of my favorite albums of the `70s, yet "album" seems like the wrong word. All four songs seem like one flowing composition of goodness. They sacrificed some of the wild rawness for a more ambient and melodic perfection. The poly-rhythmic percussion is again at the top of its form, the bubbly production parties like it's 1999 and the vocals just sink in like another instrument in the mix, humming these truly haunting melodies. The whole thing is just fucking brilliant and perfect. "Spray" ebbs and flows like a nautical beast in heat, until the vocal melody finally rewards the listener after six minutes. "Moonshake" is the three-minute pop song, and it's utterly delicious - I can't get over the odd sound-effects solo that starts around 1:15. "Bel Air" is another hypnotizing twenty minute classic, which sums the entire album up in a haunting, evolving fashion - again, unlike any other piece of music.

But the title track is the best thing on here. The album takes minutes to fade in, as if they were coming onstage individually to set up. The drums and guitar-picking slowly enter the mix, with some incoherent vocal mumblings here and there. At four minutes, Damo begins singing in a muffled voice, and I feel like I can swallow fire. "For the sake of future days" is all I can make out but, like I said, it's really just another instrument. And it makes me feel eeeeeeigggggggggg89t489u432juit31nui310m 3 38olikq8rw42m

Anyway, that's CAN in a CANshell. I've been meaning to hear "Soon Over Babaluma" for some time now, but most of what I've heard after that is really for the fans and completists only. However, it's a worthy investment to really experience one of the most original and mindblowing acts of our era of the lord.

Goodnight.

Turn On: A Review

Surrealism, my friends. Surrealism. Ah, yes! Surrealism in music is an interesting business, is it not? Who among you would disagree? Regardless, I do not care to listen, but rather, it is you who will be listening to me. I have something very interesting for you, a musical treasure, if you will. A splendid and fantastical blast of ear candy like no other. I am referring to Turn On. This is a self-titled EP (Which stands for Extended Play, mates!) by Tim Gane of Stereolab and Sean O'Hagan of the far inferior High Llamas. Of course, Sean O'Hagan is ultimately at his best when aiding in the production of material by The Groop, such as the amazing and quite unfortunately underrated "Sound-Dust" from 2001. Now dig, "Turn On" was released just a month or so before "Dots and Loops" in July or August of 1997, and it is almost a precursor or appetizer to that record, albeit, an appetizer that only contains a single vocal track by Lætitia Sadier, but regardless, musically speaking; you are in for something quite similar to the "Dots and Loops" experience. Usage of guitar and live percussion is nearly non-existent, as lightweight drum machine beats and bubbling synths take center stage on the musical enterprise that is Turn On. Now then, even longtime Stereolab drummer Andy Ramsay is along for the ride, but as to what he is doing exactly in terms of instrumentation on "Turn On" I am unaware of.

This unique little musical odyssey, and I say little because the CD version is rather light on information other than a basic track list, and the album artwork itself almost resembles some bizarre caution sign at a futuristic nuclear power plant, and I am like so not joking about that! Tim Gane, per usual, expresses his musical ears with a great deal of gusto in coming up with what one might almost go about referring to as "Dots and Loops" minimalism, as I can easily hear rough sketches that could no doubt be the skeletal structure for the more musically complex material that made "Dots and Loops" one of those defining albums of the previous decade. And I will gladly curse Air until my dying day, because Tim Gane of Stereolab, or in this instance, of Turn On, just makes it so much more substantial. While Air can often make for quality background music that can genuinely set the mood, in Tim Gane's hands, music of this variety is very much brought to the forefront and demands inspection.

This music is almost like the arcade game from Hell at times, and if you've ever seen Emilio Estevez in the "Nightmares" trilogy horror film of 1983, you'll know exactly what I mean (We're talking Bishop of Battle here people!). Electronica, if it can be referred to as such, never sounded more potent than when it was being tinkered with by the almighty Stereolab founder, as there's even a curious element of Eastern Folk present on "Triple Cause of Poetry," which is track number six on the EP. All is musical surrealism, as mentioned, as even track four is humorously referred to as the "United States of Surrealism." Quite good, really, every track on the EP, and you've got eleven to work with, buster. Of course, since this is an EP, all you get is thirty minutes, so my suggestion is to play the musical bliss that Turn On conjures up repeatedly, that is, if it's not too much trouble for you? Ten years ago now, and by no means does this Stereolab side project sound at all dated, as Stereolab in general have a rather unique ability to make what was once kitsch quite muscular from a musical perspective and indeed, timeless as Condi Rice on holiday. This is a sensual freak out, a majestic hair massage from Heaven. This is a little treasure for the latter day Stereolab fan that resides inside of you, and absolutely no question as well, "Turn On" will bring out the seafood lover in you like a Red Lobster employee who's simply had enough.

Please, oh please! Do indeed get your sensual and majestic purchase on, as Turn On is waiting real horrorshow and then some, and as always, I 100% shat you in a manner that which is not: Duophonic Shop.

(For the web site link...just click the artist search option on your right until you reach "Turn On," you dork).

Stereolab - "Aluminum Tunes"

This is not so much an album, mates. It is a collection, or what Stereolab refer to as their "Switched On" series, and then looking at it from that perspective "Aluminum Tunes" would be volume three. This music can't be beat, and the "Switched On" series is a unique gesture on Stereolab's part, as it collects rare tour-only singles and other bizarre and obscure hard to find Stereolab recorded bits, now then, with the "Switched On" series you have it all in one convenient place, which is quite convenient indeed, no? This collection starts with a rare item referred to as "Music for the Amorphous Body Center." Quite obscure, no? The tunes contained on the "Music for the Amorphous Body Center" portion of "Aluminum Tunes" contain lovely and precious melodies like on the album opener "Pop Quiz." The first three or four cuts on the record were apparently inspired by the work of a furniture designer, but I could be wrong, mate.

To break it down for you, buster. What you are really working with here is a deluxe variation of "Dots & Loops," so we're pretty much talking Easy-Listening as all fucking get out and then some. Delicious and heavenly ear candy just primed to be crammed up your buttocks, me old darling bastards. What you are also in for are cuts that did not make it on "Emperor Tomato Ketchup," including an awesome and trippy alternate mix of "Metronomic Underground" appropriately given the title of "Wagon Christ" (The bloke who mixed it). My personal favorite song is a true show-stopper in the Stereolab catalog, which is a little number that features the amazingly talented late Mary Hansen on the primary vocal, the song in question is "Seeperbold," and it may very well be Stereolab's finest.

This collection is large, two discs or three records, depending upon your preference. And rumor has it that a fourth edition of the epic "Switched On" series is in the works. Oh, and going back to what I was discussing in the previous paragraph, let me make clear that an awesome live version of Stereolab's "Seeperbold" is featured on the "ABC Music" collection, which is another item you'll want to get your filthy fingers on, such dreamy and enchanting sounds! Now then, another standout tune is "Speedy Car," and bandleader Tim Gane really cooks up something sweet on this track, ever heard of Klezmer James Bond Rock? Well, in my mind, "Speedy Car" is just that. I love this Stereolab business, this Stereolab way of life. Needless to say, "Aluminum Tunes" collects quite a few songs that feature Stereolab at their most precious and dainty. If you are like me and love "Dots & Loops" and "Sound-Dust," then grab up this collection of catchy Bubblegum Pop numbers that was released between those two gems in the year of our Lord 1998.

Also, be sure to give "Cobra and Phases Groop Play Voltage in The Milky Night" a shot (Unrelated, but important information).

Speaking of unrelated but IMPORTANT information, check out Miss Sadier and Mary Hansen of The Lab on this groovy jam by Mouse On Mars, it's got that "Aluminum Tunes" vibe to be sure:

Top 10 Bands/Artists Of The 70s.

We've done 90s, 80s, and 60s and well I feel like someone must do the 70s and I guess it'll have to be me.

The 70s means different things to different people. Disco, Punk Rock, Prog Rock, and Singer Songwriters are among the very different things that the 70s are associated with musically. I'm not too interested in most of that myself.

Again like my previous lists this will be in no particular order.

Pink Floyd

Pink Floyd also made my '60s list. I feel like the Pink Floyd of Syd Barrett and the Pink Floyd of David Gilmour are such different bands that they can listed almost as if they were separate bands. Sure they are both "psychedelic" but in entirely different ways. I'm not going to argue one vs. the other because I think both have their merits. You know too many people I think feel that music is like sports where one is the winner and one is the loser. It's just not really like that. It seems to me if you are listening in that way you are missing out on a lot of what's going. Anyway it fashionable among certain groups to downplay Pink Floyd. They're too popular and have sold too many albums for some people to appreciate them anymore. I really don't think you can listen to their music from the 70s and tell me they were trying to be popular or trying to "sell out" in anyway. This is pretty weird music really. And it certainly sounds like music that was made for their own appreciation. Really that's what it's all about you know. If you make music you yourself enjoy then you are doing it for all the right reasons, the rest of it is pure fashion and meaningless in the end. So how about the music? I don't care what anyone says Dark Side Of The Moon is a perfect album. There's a reason why it connects with so many people, generation after generation. It's just that good. I can see the perspective that it's overrated because some of their other albums like Meddle and Animals may not get as much play as Dark Side and Wish You Were Here. The Wall came out in '79 and for me this is where Pink Floyd lost me a bit. I'm not a huge fan of the Wall. Not saying it's awful or anything. It's got some good songs. But the overall production and feeling of the album puts me off. The rest of their 70s work was massive though in my view and I think in many ways they were the band of the 70s.

Led Zeppelin

Another band too successful for their own good amongst certain "indier than thou" types. Zeppelin just has to be included. Depending on your perspective Zep may be the band of the 70s. I'm more of a Pink Floyd kind of guy myself.

Brian Eno

Eno is extremely influential and he pretty much created the Ambient genre in the 70s but beyond all of that he also made some extremely good and sonically interesting albums that stand up well today.

Kraftwerk

In some ways Kraftwerk were the most influential group of the 70s. When you consider their influence on electronic music it's astounding. I actually have a preference for their earlier work but all of their albums have a certain beautiful and at times creepy timeless feel to them.

The Rolling Stones

I also included the Stones on my '60s list of course and while I'm not that into their later 70s output I have to include the Stones for the '70s as well because of their early '70s stuff. They were on the top of their game during this time.

David Bowie

Certainly Bowie's best decade with albums like Heroes, Low, Ziggy Stardust, Space Oddity, Hunky Dory, and Aladdin Sane.

Neil Young

Young was at his peak in the 70s as well. He released many classic albums during this period. Some even blame him for the whole grunge thing of the 90s with his penchant for the heavily distorted guitar sound.

Stevie Wonder

Ah when I was a boy I thought of ol' Stevie as the guy who wrote songs like "I Just Called To Say I Love You" but Wonder was of course a much more creative force in the '70s. My personal favorite Stevie Wonder album is Innervisions.

Joni Mitchell

I'm really not trying to fill any quotas here. No, I actually really dig Joni Mitchell. Court and Spark in particular.

John Lennon/Paul McCartney/George Harrison

Being the Beatles freak that I am I have to include these three fellas (sorry Ringo) and not just because I'm a Beatles freak but because I think their 70s stuff is often underrated. I don't think any of their 70s stuff really stands up against the Beatles albums but I'm often not sure if *anything* stands up against the Beatles albums so the comparison is all out of whack. For Lennon in particular I would recommend Plastic Ono Band and Imagine. For McCartney his first album McCartney has a lot of charm as does Ram. Band On The Run is probably his most fully realized and consistent solo album though. For Harrison it's all about All Things Must Pass. He really shot his load on that one but it really is a great album.

Well I am betting this will cause plenty of people to be angry. One would hope. I mean where's The Clash? Where's The Sex Pistols? ... eh. Just don't think they're that great to be honest. Flame away!

Top 100 Music Sites

I've got us signed up for this site called "Top 100 Music Sites" and it's basically based on banner impressions and clicks on the banner. Anyway I'm not so sure about the quality of these sites but maybe you'll find something interesting? Click on the banner to be taken there. Hopefully soon we'll be #1.

Talk Talk - "Laughing Stock"

It's silent in some parts, and overwhelmingly noisy in others.

It's often mesmerizing and sometimes atonal.

It might just be "post-rock", whatever the fuck that is.

It is "Laughing Stock", Talk Talk's final album, and unlike any other I've heard...

"Verve Records is said to have taken the album's title as an insult, thinking that the band were trying to make a laughing stock out of them by having them release such a blatantly non-commercial album."
-Wikipedia article

"A work of staggering complexity and immense beauty, Laughing Stock remains an under-recognized masterpiece, and its echoes can be heard throughout much of the finest experimental music issued in its wake."-Allmusic review

See, Talk Talk began as a fairly everyday pop group (so I'm told...I've not heard the early stuff). Yet, somehow, in 1991, they arrived (ascended/descended?) at this. This...jazz-influenced, frightening, relaxing(?) mess. They lost their record deal over such an inaccessible record, and soon disbanded.

Facts about "Laughing Stock":
-It's been compared to Miles Davis's "In A Silent Way" more than once, and probably more than twice.
-It features seven violinists.
-All seven violinists brushed their teeth on a daily basis.
-Mark Hollis supposedly used candles and incense to set an appropriate mood at the record sessions.
-I wouldn't hesitate to put it on a list of my sixteen or so favorite albums.

-I can easily pronounce four out of the six song titles; two of them I have trouble with.

Anyway, I feel a bit obligated to describe the music here, but I find it a rather difficult task. For one thing, it's forty-three minutes and twenty-three seconds long. It's bookended by tracks of near-silence, but haunting beauty. I feel really pretentious describing it like this, but It's really nothing I'd want to bounce along to on a sunny freeway - it demands headphone use in an empty room. At night. In a cave. With a dead parakeet in your pocket.

It's often improvisational, but strangely percussion-oriented. For example, listen to that cymbal-filled awkward 7/4 rhythm on "Ascension Day" - is the guitar player listening to the same song? Does he have a permit to be making noise like that? The harmonica, the organ, the tension-filled vocals....it all leads up to a rather indescribable cacophony.

"Weighted my hand
Kill the bet
I'll burn on judgement day
Weighted my hand
Get hard hit to sin to sail"


The ending is noisy noisy noisy, but then it becomes just that - an ending. So sudden. Leading right into the humming piano notes and organs (?)of "After the Flood". I suppose this is an epic trip-hop song if I ever heard one. The booming drum beat wouldn't sound out of place on an A Tribe Called Quest record. The vocals wait over two minutes to come in, as Mark Hollis mumbles his vague lyrics of death and reincarnation. Some sort of release arrives at just over three minutes, as Hollis urges us to "respect to be born". The guitar solo seems to consist of a chord plugging in and out, with a bit of echo and wha-wha on top. And there's an organ solo, which kills me. But eventually it fades out. It really does.

"Taphead" also deserves it's own paragraph. And man, oh man, is it a slow burner! A vague low-key guitar riff, some mumbled lines that make Michael Stipe sound like Tina Turner, more vague lyrics dealing with religion and redemption. But it builds up, as slow burners often do. The trumpets are loud and echoey, but also haunting and dissonant. There's a feedback guitar bleeding, a trumpet ringing, and so much bizarre dissonance. Speaking of dissonance, I dare you not to get chills at the 6:08 mark.

And speaking of redemption, "New Grass" seems to speak on the subject. More 7/8 rhythms. More religious lyrics.

"Lifted up
Reflected in returning love you sing
Heaven waits
Someday Christendom may come"


Damn, it's like Scott Stapp decided to join the party.

Talk Talk's final album is pretty wonderful, but don't take my word for it...