Jellyfish - "New Mistake"

"Love is blind, deaf and dumb, but nevermind."

Oh Jellyfish, Jellyfish,

How blind the world is for overlooking ya'll. You should've been playin' stadiums! I don't know how you managed to write one of the best pop songs of all time and still be almost completely overlooked and underrated. I still dream to myself of a Jellyfish reunion. (Please??) "New Mistake" is filled with hooks and subtle orchestration. A big thumpy bass line glides the track along while Freddie Mercury-eqsue vocals soar through the masterpiece and grace such a great song.

How dumb I feel for trying over and over again to share the pinnacle of 90's pop, your second and last album, Spilt Milk, with all my friends by playing them "New Mistake" only to be laughed at. "You like this?? This is cheesy." No it's not, it's brilliant! Just listen to it; the linear storyline, the climax, the chorus, the hooks, the cymbal hits -- everything -- c'mon! How can you not love that clever and ironic line at the climax of the song: "The ending turned tragic when many years later the baby had grown up and married a pop singer / I guess it was her turn to make her first mistake" and then the simply beautiful fade-out of the overlapping vocal harmonies?! Are you deaf?? It gives me chills every time I listen to it! "I don't understand. Why?" ...but! *sigh* ...nevermind.

I love you, Jellyfish. I won't give up on you.

Joanna Newsom - "Peach, Plum, Pear"

Word up, I don’t even like this artist but she did something right here! I love admitting when I am wrong, because it rarely happens, but in this instance it absolutely has 100%. This is not so much a song by an artist, but rather, an actress! She’s like a late 19th century Kate Bush living among those beautiful green fields in Virginia. She lost two kids to illness already, and with any luck, she’ll eat her third! Child may have herself some monster cash, which basically means she can afford to be entirely eccentric all the time, because baby girl is never going to have a need to find some dollars by applying at Wal-Mart. Now then, this splendid cut is from her first record entitled “The Milk-Eyed Mender,” which features a few other highly dramatic cuts such as “Sadie” and “Inflammatory Writ.” Rumor has it that she has been involved with group band efforts in recent years that have more of a generational feel no doubt, perhaps something as forgettable as The Von Bondies (Exactly! Am I right?).

So, this is a surreal lyrical masterpiece of sorts, and with such a unique voice and by a fucking harp prodigy no less! She will be remembered for these traits mentioned, although she is not without flaw. In fact, her most recent record which I am going to fail to mention was basically pure ambition and not much by way of worthwhile or creative-based music, and her posing as the good Virgin Queen on the cover was a big No-No in my book of rules. However, I must give credit where credit is due and this little gem is totally fucked up and awesome! Idyllic for a motion picture soundtrack right at the climax, no question about it; so enjoy the strangeness of this Freak Folk variation that holds more musical merit than that of its contemporaries…



Cheerio, Godzilla Burger! (Pretty eccentric, huh?).

Orbital ~ “The Box”

Word up, remember when electronic-based music really mattered? Me neither. Regardless, the Orbital song “The Box” is quite tasty and utterly delicious on a great many levels. I primarily praise the music video, as it stars Tilda Swinton from “Female Perversions” and “Teknolust” fame. And I don’t know if she’s aware of it, but she’s my kind of woman. The song, at least from the visual perspective of the video, appears to be a rather fractured take on modern life (Fucking liberals, right?). Suffice to say, that I pretty much created the universe. Any hoot, as for the video, our lovely hero Tilda almost gives a silent comedic performance worthy of Harold Lloyd, albeit, darkly comedic! Muhahaha!

I must have heard this song in a commercial advert at some point as well, what with me being a Brit and all. This is a meditative piece of music and not dissimilar to that “Teardrop” collaboration between those thugs in Massive Attack and that ho from Cocteau Twins (Word up!). I think that this song now successfully represents that short era in the late ‘90’s which featured cuts by Air, the more computerized aspects of Stereolab’s sound and shit like the Prodigy. Not exactly an interesting if brief era in Pop, but certainly better than ‘N Sync.

Anyone for a generous and generational helping of MTV’S AMP???



Viewing quality does tend to vary, and if you prefer, try this one, too...

"Bill Gates Must Die" by John Vanderslice

Since 1999, John Vanderslice has been crafting his melodic, analog-recorded pop gems, yet his biggest mainstream splash has been this edgy ode to computer porn, appearing on his 2000 debut, "Mass Suicide Occult Figurines". The rumor that Windows threatened legal actions over trademark violations was a hoax, but the absurdity of the song is most certainly not.

On the surface, "Bill Gates Must Die" employs many of Vanderslice's typical elements - rich melody, a refreshingly raw drum sound and that mildly awkward, smoky voice of his. The lyrics, however, provide a look into the mind of a hopeless internet porn addict, pointing the finger back at Mssr. Gates.

"Teeny, tiny little teens keep pouring out of my machine."

The song deals with both the availability and disposability of porn in the internet age, sentencing Bill Gates to death for "bringing me here"; in another words, making such a situation possible.

"I'll never make it back intact....Back doors, passwords galore, only the hackers, only the feds know."

It's a pretty strong slice of paranoia in our computer age, son. The biting guitar distortion does little to lighten the mood and this song is as good as any introduction to Vanderslice's unique tunage. "Mass Suicide Occult Figurines" is an incredibly solid (albeit short) debut, and is highly recommended, along with any of his first four albums.

Sorry, no youtube available that Itoube can findtoube. Instead, here's an incredible awkward phototube of Bill Gates for your nipple-tweaking amusement:

Yann Tiersen ~ "Rue des Cascades"

A fantastical song worthy of Condi Rice on holiday; one ultimately does tend to wonder doesn’t one? This is powerful music that will make your soul come earthquakes in a violent and dreadful yet sexy fiery yellow glow. Do you realize that this song was featured in the film “The Dreamlife of Angels?” ‘Tis true as all get out and beyond my designer boxer shorts! Yann Tiersen makes beautiful minimalist yet intense little pieces of music, combining elements of French folk tradition and Romantic era Classical, no wonder why he is the new sensation with all of the young people everywhere!

“Rue des Cascades” is also the title of a Yann Tiersen album, and it is a great album. In fact, most of Yann Tiersen’s album are great; word up with him? Word up with him! You will be floating away with this song forever and then some and you will want to have its little ghost babies in the afterlife. The vocalist on this cut is a woman by the name of Claire Pichet, isn’t that super duper? She is totally rad and is the prom date of the century. And old Yann sure can play a mean violin; he can play a lot of mean instruments as he is one mean multi instrumentalist. Just a pure joy to have around during the holiday seasons as well. But enough of my nonsense, actions speak louder than!

Action…NOW!