The Hurdy Gurdy Man by the Butthole Surfers

A song that is better than the original, a song that permanently put my cute little man-pussy on the pill now and forever, like a regular horse whisperer abortion, daddy has come to play. Paul Leary’s guitar leads on this bit of brain cheddar are absolutely delicious, and there is some real love going on. I can’t tell if percussionist King Coffey programmed the living fart out of a drum machine beat or if the beat of life itself programmed the very essence of his noodle. With this song, one realizes the extent of Mozart’s influence, and you simply do not stop.

Gibby Haynes has got his electronic voice box machine working overtime, and this is how it should be. Let your hair down and join the unconformity circus before your buttocks become clinched so tight that you will be farting out of your mouth forever more, you filthy little sass box, baby. Daddy was born to boogie and the Gibbytronix is quite impressive, as just briefly discussed a short moment ago. I am swirling in this song; it is instant ecstasy and ultra awesome. Any vaguely weird or creative-based Rock band that came to fruition after the eighties, no doubt owes a debt to these fabulous Surfers, everybody from Ween to the Condi Rice Experience (Featuring my rock hard clit-hood on drums, you douche rag).

Very odd to understand that Captain Beefheart and his Magic Band were not an influence on these bizarre group of college educated intellectuals, well accept, for Mr. Coffey. It was almost like the next generation of the Magic Band when the Surfers saw the light of day in the early eighties. Now, I’m perhaps not talking Boredoms weird, but pretty damn weird regardless. Some say that Gibby and his pals fell to bits slowly but surely beginning around this time frame, but I say that this is by no means entirely true. We all know some interesting musical ideas found their way on “Independent Worm Saloon” and various others, but it is understandable that those fans of their fabled eighties heyday of the fairly user-friendly freak show heroics were largely let down. Anyhow, I love this song in general, but especially with that tasty Butthole Surfers twist.

Gazing with tranquility, new babysitters on the rise…

Canon in D by Johann Pachelbel

You know, when I think about Johann Pachelbel’s Canon in D I tend to get slightly teary eyed, but yet, a smile grazes my mug and makes my bright day almost intolerably bright, to where I can’t even fight the feeling any more (as I have forgotten what I have started fighting for). Do not get me incorrect, as Bach’s Prelude in C Major is like so totally to die for, but it is Pachelbel’s Canon in D that really makes the hair grow on my scrotum, and it is a kind of hair that is easy to pull and tug, but yet it is not tender, no my friends, it is simply true.

So, when you listen to this brilliant piece of the Baroque era Classical realm, I want you to say a little prayer for me and wash your bed sheets real good this time. It is enchanting music, and no doubt was an influence on the High Priest of Baroque, Johann Sebastian Bach himself, as Bach came a little later after Pachelbel, as the case might be. This is a sort of sound that simply delights the ears as it creates internal movement, and internal conversation of all of the known and unknown senses, in short, it is something wondrous.

Back to Bach, sure, some may argue that Pachelbel was not an influence, but I tend to entirely disagree. And what exactly is a canon you ask? Well, it was quite commonplace during the Baroque era, so allow my pretty little tush to explain a few musical factoids unto your own rotten bottom: Basically, we are looking at counterpoint with a primary melody, and two or more backing melodies that essentially dovetail that main melodic bit and compliment it quite nicely.

You’ve probably heard this at a wedding, you goofy little whale penis, you:



Hello, it was Johann Pachelbel’s only canon!

"Atlas" by Battles

An early candidate for song of the year, and it comes from this warped New York outfit, the first single off their indie-acclaimed full-length debut, "Mirrored". The term of choice seems to be math-rock, but I hear a rolicking kraut-rock influence in the booming tom-tom rhythms and burping guitar drone, soon enhanced by the utterly infectious robot vocals. "People won't be people when they hear this sound," declares the computer-altered voice (as best as I can make it out; no one can really decipher) and it'll stick in your head for days.

The energy simply catapults from there. The tribal drums tumble forward underneath the squealing guitar mess, only to break down at the three minute point. The second half moans and growns, only to build back into the menacing alien techno assault.

Battles seemed to manage to balance their warm indie receival with a massive hard-on for epic prog grooves and unusual vocal effects. "Atlas" in particular is as well suited for a New Years' party on Saturn as it is for a carnival. It is, however, rather dangerous to blast while driving (see: Most Dangerous Albums to Play While Driving); it sends me into violent spasms and convulsions that some may refer to as "dancing". Personally, I'm just bitter that I missed an oppurtunity to see `em live earlier this month.

"Atlas" in full glory:

Jokerman by Bob Dylan

What can be said about Bob Dylan’s “Jokerman” that has not been said already? As one does ultimately tend to wonder, and I hesitantly admit to as much. I know little about the song origin, could it be from a 1983 record that went by the name of “Infidels?” as “Empire Burlesque” sounds incorrect in my mind; and that is a record from 1985, no? This song has a nice little tropical Disco beat and a dorky 1980’s bass line, and is that the dweeb from Dire Straits that I hear all up on the lead guitar bits?

“Keeping one step ahead from the bisexual pirate within…”

Not exactly the correct lyric there, but similar. The fun thing about Dylan is that he does not sing in clear English, and the listener is left to make up his or her own lyrics. This is a lyrically brilliant cut that makes Christianity seem totally awesome, and perhaps it is? I will leave that for you to decide, but I do believe that this record was the very tail-end of Bob’s fascination with the imagery and the deep spirituality of the Christian faith. It wasn’t easy to write a lyrically substantial inspired Pop Ballad in the 80’s, but we must give Dylan mad kudos for making it come to fruition, magically somehow.

It is a fantastically groovy little number that creates lovely images in my noodle…It’s like being a Christian Scientist or something, man! Some deeply meditative shit indeed, and the harmonica touches kick poodle. I interpret this song as an endless array of adventure sagas as appropriated with a bizarre religious fervor that is very much unique to Dylan of the time frame, it was simply where he was at...and it was a fairly interesting place in some respects. Sure, he’s been better elsewhere, but “Jokerman” happens to be one of his better individual cuts, in my opinion.



Kind regards,

Mozart Breath