Hi; if you are a Hipster then you know that CDs are so totally cool, but what to buy exactly? Here is a list that I compiled out of the kindness of my sweet and tasty heart. Get your purchase on to the following, hit it and quit it…

1. Jon Spencer Blues Explosion “Extra Width”: This album has got the Blues; it is from 1993 but sounds as if it were made in 1973. It is everything that The White Stripes attempted and failed to do.

2. Jon Spencer Blues Explosion “Orange”: Folks know that Jon Spencer has been in Heavy Trash as of late, but the Blues Explosion got some reissues coming out next year and of which “Orange” should certainly be one. “Orange” is classic Blues Punk by the very inventors of the genre. Songs like “Bellbottoms” can’t be messed with, player. I totally shit you not! Beck is featured rapping over telephone on the cut “Flavor”, bitches.

3. Frank Zappa “One Size Fits All”: 1975 is the year, assholes. Complex arrangements and guitar solos from heaven. “One Size Fits All” truly fits every taste, so purchase the fucker.

4. Grateful Dead “Aoxomoxoa”: This classic Dead album features classic Dead tunes such as “St. Stephen” and “China Cat Sunflower”. It’s groovy.

5. Beck “Stereo Pathetic Soul Manure”: Yup. It’s fun. Enjoy it; because it is reported that Beck has taken legal action years after the original Flipside Records version went out of print or some junk. Maybe he’ll release a deluxe version of an already deluxe album? He did it recently with “One Foot in the Grave”, so why the fuck not, fucker? A true stand-out is the incomprehensible album-opener “Pink Noise (Rock Me Amadeus)”. Noise-Rock indeed!

6. Pussy Galore “Dial M for Motherfucker”: This is the second-to-last record released by Jon Spencer’s awesome Trash-Rock outfit from 1989. Pussy Galore made a beautiful racket, and this sassy little record includes the Pussy Galore epics “Dick Johnson” and “The Undertaker”. While you are at it, get the “Sugar Shit Sharp” EP, fuckers.

7. Blue Cheer “Vince Bus Eruption”: Wow! Forget about Heavy Metal, because it is all about HEAVY BLUES! This power trio really delivered the Hard Rocking goods on their 1969 debut; Jim Morrison is reported to have enjoyed them so you should, too. You ass hair lickers.

8. Moby Grape “S/T”: Yup. The epic debut from the psychedelic masters released in 1967 and featuring America’s Syd Barrett, Mr. Skippy Spence! The album is awesome from head-to-toe. You can get it from that SUNDAZED label or from your grandma. Did you know that both Blue Cheer and Moby Grape were from San Francisco? It’s true!

Well; I feel better. So listen to my selections instead of Butt-Plug Collective AKA Animal Collective or whatever Pitchfork Media tells your Hipster asses. Merry Christmas from Mozart, fuckers!