CAN...

...we fix it? Yes, we can!

A guide of sorts to these five unpronouncable names and one DJ!

Rhythmic. Abstract. Hipnotic. "Instant Compositions". Exotic. Bratwurst.

CAN formed in Cologne, Germany in 1968, and eventually became one of the most influential artists of all time by accident, inventing the sub-genre of saurKrautrock in the process. With just a couple of seminal early 70's recording, these foreign fellers helped pioneer everything from avant-garde to dance music to ambient!

It's no jolk, folks. They've been lovingly ripped off by everyone from The Fall ("I Am Damo Suzuki") to The Flaming Lips ("Take Meta Mars") to Radiohead (much of the "Kid A" album). In the wise words of music connoisseur Mark Prindle:

"Hi, I'm Bob Screw."

Wait, hold on, wrong quote. Here it is:

"Modern bands who were obviously influenced by Can include Stereolab and The Fall. Modern bands who probably have never heard of Can include No Doubt and Smashing Pumpkins. Modern bands who simply Can't include Limp Bizkit.

Modern bands who actually aren't even bands include Erma Bombeck."

Anyway, some insane American goon-dog named Malcolm Mooney was their original singer. Of course, "singer" is a mis-leading word, since he mostly just yelled "Yoo Doo Right!" in a horribly scratchy voice, akin to a homeless man stuck in a rabbit hole. The band's debut, "Monster Movie", is more of a garage rock-ish, tuneless Velvet Underground-like mess, unlike the tonal, hypnotic (yet vaguely melodic) grooves that we've grown to love from CAN. The only skippable release in the early CAN CANnon.

Anway, the band didn't really hit its stride until Mooney left the band, on the advice of his psychiatrist, no doubt. Damo Suzuki was found at some cafe and hired on the spot, despite his lack of musical skills at the time. During the early 70's, CAN released four classic albums that belong in every respectable music collection: a formidable influence on nearly all musical trends of the past thirty, and yet they sound like nothing else. The albums in question:


"Soundtracks" (1970): Thing is, this is a 35.2 minute transition album of sorts, since it represents the switch between vocalists. Yet, lord all mighty, I proclaim it to be the best 35.2 minute transitional album I've ever heard!
Anyway, it's called "Soundtracks" since it's mostly comprised of music contributed to films, but it deserves some studio album recognition. Mssr. Mooney sings on the primal "Soul Desert", which somehow sounds equally deranged, but funkier and catchier than all of "Monster Movie" combined. "Don't Turn the Light On, Leave me Alone" and "Tango Whiskeyman" both combine minimalistic melodies with irresistable percussion chops. Great success! Then there's the epic "Mother Sky", which is where CAN really first unleashed their Krautrock madness on the world. The haunting melody seeps in and out, as random instruments take turns soloing over what basically consists of one bass note repeating for 14+ minutes. Astoundingly, it never gets dull; such is the mysterious nature of CAN. The album ends with the smooth grooves of "She Brings The Rain", which is at once sexy and midly exotic. The future begins here!

"Tago Mago" (1971): Ah, yes, the double album... Seems like almost every great classic rock band has tried it. Is it worth sacrificing consistency in the name of pure, uncontrolled inspiration? While I cannot hold with those who call this CAN's best, I still must point to "Tago Mago" as the most groundbreaking, the most bold and simply, the most monstrous. With the jazzy drumming, the tape edits and the unusual vocal stylings, this is the beginning of CAN's holy trinity. It's by far their longest and wildest, and even has the coolest cover art!

Listen to the waltz-groove of "Paperhouse" slide out of your speakers in typical CAN fashion. "Mushroom" sports an intense hip hop-like drumbeat, later appearing on the Lips' "In A Priest Driven Ambulance" album. Then there's the backwards vocals of "Oh Yeah". God only knows where Damo was trying to go with this stuff, but he succeeded in creating ahead-of-its-time pop music that truly takes the listener to another world. "Halleluwah" is the centerpiece: an 18 minute monster of intense funk rhythms, nonsensical lyrics and one bizarre violin solo. It's just oozing with alien vibes and decadent slime - the over-the-top experimentalism and uncharted territory of all `70s music scenes encapsulated in one "song". Unfortunately, it's the two songs following it that prevent me from really rewarding this classic album a perfect score. Allmusic may describe "Aumgn" as a "near-genius...ever-evolving wash", but to me it just sounds like a studio fucking around. For over 17 minutes, I keep expecting it to build up to something awesome^100, but it never does. The echoey Japanese moaning just doesn't float my boat, per se. "Peking O" suffers from similar problems, but would be much more tolerable if it didn't follow the pointless previous track. See, I can dig this contrast of early drum machines, synthesizer squealing and ridonculous babbling when I'm in a quest for insanity type of mood, but all together, it's just too much of nothing. The album recovers on the final track, ending similar to how it began...

-"Ege Bamyasi" (1972): See me after class if you can pronounce the title. I can't. Or if you can tell me why there's a bag of green beans on the cover. Regardless, I do know that this is a fair bit shorter and more approachable than "Tago Ego Waffle", which is either a good or bad thing, depending on the position of the moon. I prefer "Ege Bamyasi" of the two - the production seems to be up a notch, making me wonder how the hell this came out of 1972. In addition, there ain't any pointless sound swamp weaselling around, and every song's a winner! Once again, the drums lead the mind-melting journey through drone-pop madness. Check out the way "One More Night" grooves on a catchy 7/4, with some wonderfully twisted keyboards fitting into the shuffle. Then there's the aggressive "Vitamin C", with an orgasmic drum beat and a rockin` chorus of "Hey You! You're losing, you're losing, you're losing, you're losing your vitamin C!"

Listen to this mangled stew. I dare you to tell me that "Pinch" doesn't sound like a companion piece to some 70's Miles Davis fusion record. I dare you to tell me that the final two songs aren't catchy enough to be top 40 hits on Jupiter. I dare you to listen to "Soup" (Blind Melon!) and not soil yourself. Okay, fine, I double-doggy dare you.

"Future Days" (1973): Critics may disagree all they want, but I honestly believe that each of CAN's first five records somehow improved upon the last in some way, with "Future Days" being the height of musical bliss. This is it, by the way. One of my favorite albums of the `70s, yet "album" seems like the wrong word. All four songs seem like one flowing composition of goodness. They sacrificed some of the wild rawness for a more ambient and melodic perfection. The poly-rhythmic percussion is again at the top of its form, the bubbly production parties like it's 1999 and the vocals just sink in like another instrument in the mix, humming these truly haunting melodies. The whole thing is just fucking brilliant and perfect. "Spray" ebbs and flows like a nautical beast in heat, until the vocal melody finally rewards the listener after six minutes. "Moonshake" is the three-minute pop song, and it's utterly delicious - I can't get over the odd sound-effects solo that starts around 1:15. "Bel Air" is another hypnotizing twenty minute classic, which sums the entire album up in a haunting, evolving fashion - again, unlike any other piece of music.

But the title track is the best thing on here. The album takes minutes to fade in, as if they were coming onstage individually to set up. The drums and guitar-picking slowly enter the mix, with some incoherent vocal mumblings here and there. At four minutes, Damo begins singing in a muffled voice, and I feel like I can swallow fire. "For the sake of future days" is all I can make out but, like I said, it's really just another instrument. And it makes me feel eeeeeeigggggggggg89t489u432juit31nui310m 3 38olikq8rw42m

Anyway, that's CAN in a CANshell. I've been meaning to hear "Soon Over Babaluma" for some time now, but most of what I've heard after that is really for the fans and completists only. However, it's a worthy investment to really experience one of the most original and mindblowing acts of our era of the lord.

Goodnight.