The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus are quite popular on MySpace, they have over 47 million plays thus far and they are currently ranked #4 among unsigned bands. In the past I’ve found that most of the most popular groups on MySpace tend to suck ass as MySpace is filled with kids who don’t know anything about music and of course tend to listen to crap. Will these guys be any different? Unlikely considering that among their chosen genres are screamo and pop punk.

So let’s take a listen to the songs on their MySpace page.

“Damn Regret” – The first thing I notice is the professional sounding recording. Unsigned sure, but I don’t get the feeling that these guys are very DIY. They have someone who knows what they are doing recording their music, now this can be a good thing or a bad thing, in this case it’s a bad thing. Because it just makes them sound just like every other forgettable brand, er, I mean band in this genre of pop music masquerading as rock. The song is all bombastic drums (enough fills there?) and generic guitars with the usual teenage angst vocals. Admittedly it is a pretty catchy tune, I can see why the kids like ‘em. But there’s nothing here for people who are really into music.

“Disconnected” – Alright, copy/paste the comments from above.

“Your Guardian Angel” – The requisite acoustic ballad. Right? No this isn’t predictable (sarcasm alert.) Keyboard strings help to take the cheese to the next level. Very forgettable tune on the verse. Requisite heavy guitar part. Seriously, could this music be anymore by the numbers? It’s like they have a coloring book and they are neatly coloring within the lines. There’s nothing interesting here musically and the tune isn’t memorable enough to make up for that. And it’s doesn’t work emotionally as it’s so plastic. It barely feels likes anything at all.

“Face Down” – This sounds exactly like every other song in the pop punk genre. There’s been about 100 million songs over the last 10 years that sound just like this. It feels like pop music is in a standstill when you hear stuff like this.

Conclusion

These guys don’t seem to have any interest in doing anything even remotely original. It’s clear that this is music made to be popular among the clueless masses. You know, tunes to get chicks, nothing else. There’s nothing to listen to for anyone who actually likes music.

In the photo of The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus I’ve included below you can see they have a couple of pretty boys upfront. I’m sure most of their female fans (and I would assume their fanbase is 95% female) mostly likes them because they think these two dudes are cute. And they are, I’ll give ‘em that. Good lookin’ lads.